I’ve been slowly coming around to an idea that’s so simple, and yet so hard to face — it’s part of what Havi would call my “Stuff,” no doubt about it.

I am overweight and out of shape — yeah, big shock, someone on the internet who isn’t in perfect health. And every day I think about how I’d like to feel better, have more energy, get all those supposed benefits of being healthy. And all you have to do to get there is eat well and exercise, right?

Except here’s the conundrum:

I have never, ever associated exercise with feeling good.

Everyone who talks about exercising says it’ll give you more energy, that exercise is the key to feeling good, that you can just find that one magic thing you love to do and it’ll make you thin and svelte and awesome.

But I’m not actually any good at any of those things. I’m awkward. I have bad knees. I was always picked last in gym class, and it’s the only class I was ever in danger of failing.

Exercise is a bad thing to me. It’s humiliation and incompetence and that horrible sick feeling you get when you’re forced to try to do things your body isn’t ready for because some authority figure thinks it should be. It’s being the worst at something, and being forced to do it over and over again anyway.

This is not something that makes me think I will feel good and have more energy. In fact, it makes me feel tired and a little sick just contemplating it.

How can I solve this conundrum? I don’t know. I have been walking a lot more, but in that way where nothing is ever good enough, that’s not really helping much anymore. It’s been a couple of years since I made the change, and so I’ve long past reached that plateau where I’m supposed to “up the intensity” or some shit. But my errands? Not that intense.

I could try to relate this to work — how still you have to do the parts that aren’t your best thing in order to do the bits you’re really good at, how a lot of businesses hit a plateau where you have to work a whole bunch more if you want to keep seeing growth, and all that. And it’s all true.

But I never had a gym teacher yell at me for not doing my marketing.

I worked with Stuart Carroll of Ascid.com for several years, and have been working with him on an ongoing client project.

He passed away this Sunday of a heart attack.

He was generous with his time and his knowledge, helpful and cheerful and snarky in just the right ways, and I will miss him very much. There’s so much I could say about him, all of it good, because he’s one of the few people I’ve known about whom very few bad things could be or ever were said. He was good at what he did, whether it was bringing people together to share the love of a tv show, or programming a website, he did it with a cheerful competence that made it look easy.

My life has to keep going on, even though his is over. I hate hate hate saying I have to replace him — Stuart, as a human being and friend, was irreplaceable.

Unfortunately, sentiment won’t get my php/mySQL issues resolved, so I’m looking for someone good, small, freelance and competent. They won’t be Stuart, but maybe the new connection will have a different kind of value.

Twitter has become the latest hot thing in social networking, and social marketing. Whether people use Twitter for friends, for business, or for some combination of the two, I’ve noticed that nobody does Twitter quite like anybody else.

There are as many ways to use Twitter as there are subscribers.

Here’s the thing — in some ways I’m the classic Virgo. I like to see things complete, like collections and reading lists. It bothers me just a little bit to know I’ve got 5 out of 6 of those limited-edition widgets. Sometimes, it bothers me a lot.

So I try to dip my toes into my Twitter stream on a regular basis, without stressing too much about keeping caught up. At least, that’s the theory I work on when I add just one more interesting person from this or that referral, or consider whether to follow people back.

I also have a personal Twitter account, which I’ve actually had for a lot longer than my business one. I keep my updates protected, and since all the people I follow really are my friends, I keep up with that stream — and I remove people who tweet so much they drown out the rest of the people I want to see.

Unfortunately, even though it pains my little Virgo heart, I’m learning that I can’t keep that up with my business stream, for a couple of reasons. While some of my stream consists of people who I’m following because they tweet good info, at least some of the time, there’s also the issue of follow-backs. Not to mention spammers, scammers, and people who are just plain boring.

Following people has a cost.

On my business Twitter, just as much as the personal one, I look at every person and think, what will the cost be of following this person? Will I miss tweets from people I want to read because this person will pollute the stream? Does this person really have something to say that I want to read? Will they be butthurt if I don’t follow them? And if they are, do I care?

I’ve learned to check people out on followcost.com before I add them, but then, I also have to learn to let go. If I get up in the morning and find I have to click “more” 5 or 6 times in order to catch up to where I last checked my stream, I just… don’t. It lets me look past the number of updates per day, and look at the person, and see what nuggets of gold I might get out of adding them to my stream.

And then I try to remember that I don’t have to pick up every shiny object that goes by, and my stream will always have something new in it. I just have to check when I have time and energy to check, and otherwise, just the the stream keep burbling on by without me.

But no force on this earth will make me add someone with 42 tweets a day.

…of your sales cycle, that is.

One thing I’ve learned over the years of doing design is the every client has a different sales cycle, and it’s always longer than you wish it was.

Almost all potential clients will respond to a proposal with a thanks, followed by some variation on, “I just need some time to think this over.” (Okay, maybe I just don’t have the sales method down yet, or my proposals are boring, or something, but let’s just pretend I know what I’m talking about here — in my experience, small business owners don’t decide on the spot to spend hundreds of dollars very often.)

What’s interesting to me is that you never really know how much time “some time” will be. I’ve had clients come back after only a few days and accept — or, sometimes, decline — a proposal. I’ve also had people that “thought” for a few weeks, asking for more info and gathering the materials that they need to make an informed decision (and get the project started) before accepting. I’ve even had people who took months to come to a decision, and I have one potential client who’s been considering his website options for over a year now.

The only true rule of thumb I’ve found is that however long you hope a client will take to decide, based on their stated schedule and urgency and what you know of their personality, it’ll always be at least twice that long, and often much longer.

Buying design is more akin to getting a new car than buying a new TV. Despite being priced more in the latter range, it’s non-returnable, and the client is going to have to live with the results. On top of that, it’s got to function for a client who doesn’t always see how good design gives them a return on their investment, and it’s not always easy for the designer to overcome those mental objections. A new car has to get you from point A to point B, but it also has a whole lot of other expectations — both functional and emotional — that it’s expected to fulfill. A client worries that they’re going to spend $500 — or $5000 — on a design only to end up with a lemon, and there’s both emotional and monetary investment there.

After all, a good design (especially if you’re doing brand identity along with it) is supposed to represent them as a business, the same way a lot of people feel like their cars represent them. If they’re expecting a Mini and get a Yugo, they’re going to be disappointed, and the fear of that disparity is going to be one of the unspoken objections that slows down the sales cycle.

So, what’s the solution?

Well, first off a designer needs to put out enough proposals that some people’s sales cycles will complete while the rest are still working their way through. It’s a lot of work, but having a good marketing system in place is essential for every business, of any kind.

Secondly, a designer can figure out these secret objections and counter them, either in their sales copy, or their subsequent conversations with the client. Figure out what the benefits really are, not just the features, and highlight them. Assure the client that you’ll make sure their Mini has racing stripes and isn’t just a glorified go-kart. Don’t give away the farm for free, but front-load your presentation with enough specifics that the client really feels like you get them.

Of course, to do that, you have to have enough conversations with the client that you really do get them, but that’s a subject for a different post.